The next morning, I asked Sis if I could wear one of her blouses and a skirt as I wanted to make G-ma think that I had meant what I said. Actually, I just wanted to prolong being a girl as long as I could. As I combed my hair, I was very pleased to see that the waves were still as deep and pretty as they had been the day before. We went down to break- fast and G-ma merely scoffed when she saw me. After breakfast I did the chores and returned to the house.

G-pa took me into the living room and closed the door. This was the first time he had ever done that with me, and I was a little frightened because I didn't know what was going to happen to me. He told me to sit down, then he sat down and looked at me for a long time. Finally, he asked me if I were serious about being a girl the rest of my life. I told him I wasn't, that I had done this just to get even with G-ma for making me dress like that in the first place. I also told him that I had been born a boy and would have to live my life as a man. Then, he asked me if I enjoyed dressing in girl's clothes. I couldn't keep back the tears as I told him that I did. He got up, came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. It was the only kiss he ever gave me, and my heart almost burst with love for him. As he reached the door, he told me to go change clothes and get ready to go to town with him. I changed, soaked my head and combed out the waves. In town, I got a very short haircut and some new clothes for school.

Sis left again for college, and G-pa moved me into the spare down- stairs bedroom-I think-just to remove me from temptation as much as possible. That winter passed slowly, and many times I dreamed of that Sunday and longed for the feel of feminine things next to my skin. I don't know why I wandered into the attic one Saturday afternoon, but I did. I was just looking around and I discovered a box with my name on it. I quickly opened it and almost cried when I saw the contents—it was the yellow outfit I had worn for one whole day. I held the dress next to me and thanked Sis for the gift. I kept the dress in the box-and in the attic-so G-ma wouldn't find it. I used to sneak into the attic and hold the dress to me and wish fervently that I could wear it again and again.

I didn't know it, but I had spent my last summer on the farm. Mother had remarried, and her rancher husband thought it would be a good idea if my brother and I started learning the cattle business. So, at the age of twelve, I started taking my place in a man's world. We arose with the rest of the men, worked all day with them, did extra chores and helped Mother with her work. I was too tired at night to even think about any

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